“Unlearning the Strong Black Woman Narrative”

We’ve been celebrated for being strong for so long, we forgot what it feels like to be held.

To be tired.
To be seen.
To be human.

The “Strong Black Woman” archetype wasn’t born from empowerment — it was born from survival. Passed down like armor, it’s the legacy of centuries of struggle: from enslavement, to motherhood under impossible odds, to careers built in systems never meant for us.

But the very armor that protected us also hardened us. It taught us that our worth lives in our ability to endure pain — quietly, flawlessly, without complaint.

The Cost of Being Strong

Strength became our currency.
We wore it like a crown… and like a chain.

The world applauds us for how much we can take.
But no one stops to ask: Do we want to carry all of this?

The cost?

• Suppressed emotions
• Unspoken exhaustion
• The fear of appearing “weak”
• Relationships built on imbalance
• Being praised for surviving, but never helped

We internalized this narrative to stay safe. But safety is not the same as healing.

The New Narrative

Here’s the truth:
You are allowed to not be strong all the time.
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to say, “This is too much.”
You are allowed to need.
You are allowed to be held.

Unlearning this archetype is not abandonment of your strength — it’s returning to your wholeness.

What It Looks Like to Unlearn

• Saying “no” without overexplaining
• Letting someone else take the lead
• Crying without apology
• Speaking softness instead of grit
• Choosing therapy over silence
• Allowing yourself to receive

It’s a new kind of strength.
One rooted in truth, vulnerability, and boundaries.

A Prompt for You:

What parts of yourself have you silenced to maintain the image of being strong?

Final Word:

Sis, you do not have to earn rest.
You are not only worthy when you’re doing, fixing, saving, or enduring.

Let them call it soft.
Let them call it emotional.
Let them call it too much.

We call it free.

With softness,
Amari Sky
She Who Rises